Twenty-five years ago, in 2000, the novelist, essayist, and former Harvard professor Roger Rosenblatt wrote a book titled Rules for Aging. He was 60 years old then. Now, 25 years later, at the age of 85, he has written a sequel to it, How to Be a Happy 85-Year-Old (Like Me). Who better than an 85-year-old to advice how to make the most of the senior years? Here is some of the advice that he has for his fellow seniors:
• Don’t entertain the idea that other people are thinking about you. Just accept the fact that nobody is giving you a second thought. He admits that this thought though depressing, it is also liberating. It liberates you to think about yourself and what you can do to make your own life happier. The mistakes and failures of the past are a closed book. Nobody cares about them anymore, and nobody will. So, stop expecting others to be thinking about you and think about yourself. Now is your chance to be utterly “selfish,” since nobody is dependent on you, and you do not have to make any sacrifices for the sake of others. You’ve done that already and have now been freed of that expectation and responsibility.
• Make friends with young people. He says that there is nothing more energizing than the company of young people. They are fresh, full of life, bursting with positive energy, and optimistic. All of that will rub off on to you when you associate with them.
• Try to keep your contact with medical professionals to a minimum. The fewer doctors and specialists you see, the better. Many seniors organize their lives around medical checkups and visits to various specialists and medical technicians doing scans and blood and urine tests, and this takes time away from the activity of living and enjoying life. Leading a healthy life will make it possible for you to avoid all these visits to medical professionals, and free you to engage in more upbeat and uplifting activities.
• Get a pet—if you do not already have one. If possible, make it a dog. Dogs make excellent companions for the elderly. They are loyal and faithful and obedient, and are intent on pleasing you in exchange for food and, above all, your love and attention. Taking them on their daily walk will keep you physically fit and healthy—and away from the doctor’s office. Their needs are few, but meeting those simple needs will give you something to do that is directed away from yourself.
• Don’t pay attention to praise, even if you deserve it. Just keep living your life as you know how and as you think best. There is more satisfaction to be gained from living your life than from being praised for something that you did.
• Remember that everyone is in pain to one degree or another. Your pain, whether physical or emotional, is neither more nor less than anyone else’s. If you can, try to ease someone else’s pain.
• Do not dwell on regrets. Everyone has them. They are part of being human, so learn to live with them.
Not all of Roger Rosenblatt’s advice may appeal to you—or even apply to you. He has found these things useful in making his life as an octogenarian enjoyable and worth living. We are all different, and what works for one may not work for another. However, the general point that he is trying to make is that old age can be enjoyable, and it is up to us to make it as enjoyable as we possibly can. There are no “rules” for how to be “old”. We can create our own definition and live up to it. The point is: Do not let others tell you what you can and cannot do as a senior. You decide that for yourself.
Dr. Veena Alfred Ph.D
CEO /Administrator
